Fitting in for the Fat

There are rules to being fat.

Every day, get up, eat breakfast (or skip breakfast), go to work, eat lunch (healthy lunch? No lunch?) come home, hopefully work out (is it long enough?), eat dinner (oh be careful with dinner) and go to bed. You must never eat dessert or wear shorts or skirts; you must choose your shirts with care. Do not show too much skin. Police your appearance — look masculine if you are a man, look feminine if you are a woman, look nice but not too nice whatever you are, and always, always, always be dieting. Do not ever admit it if you are not dieting. You want to fit…