(as told by my wife, who is an introvert, and only let me publish this when I begged her)
- No. Do not date. Stay in your house. Write a poem about loneliness.
- Sit on your porch. Perhaps a date will pass by! Enjoy the breeze. Drink coffee. Perhaps read a book.
- Date online. Only reply once to each person. If they do not write back, give up.
- Instead of looking for a new date, write inadvisable hello letters to people you used to date! You used to get along, possibly that could happen again.
- Instead of meeting new people, sign up for newsletters or online groups with the kind of people you might like to date, and read their articles or posts. Do not write in the groups, just read them and feel connected.
- Get a cat.
- Sign up for notifications for events you might like to attend. Do not go. Make plans to go 'next time.'
- Read a book.
- If you really really want a date, go to somewhere other people are dating and then lower your standards. No, more than that.
- Just date people you know from somewhere else.
- Dating is overrated, really. Why would you want a new person to see you naked?
- Libraries are a great place to meet new people. And by people, I mean books.
- Remember when I said not to date? Do not date. People are scary, and they smell bad sometimes, and they will want to talk to you.
- If you do meet someone, hold onto them, whatever their flaws. Unless they want to talk with you too much, in which case, leave without saying goodbye.
- Maybe you are a cat. Cats don’t need to date anyone. Read a book. Feel satisfied in your loneliness.
Want to see how the other side lives? Check out my equally useful Dating Tips for Extroverts.